Zangpola

January 2008! Winter breeze tosses my jackets collar and softly slams my ears. Tightening my skin frame and clogging blood passage through veins. It was curving my fingers like leafless deciduous tree and my hairs like spikes of fork. Everyone in my house was making warm and comfortable near heater while I was dialing number to call Zangpola.

I couldn’t connect him, so I texted him asking about results. Shortly my phone beeped, “dude I am not qualified for higher studies, study well brother and I will be missing your company” he replied. ‘Without Zangpola life is boring’ instantly his dialogue flashed and picked up my cell.

Hi, Zangpola! Are you sure about the results that you didn’t qualify?

‘Hi, yap bro! I knew and was sure about that because my exams were horrible’

Why don’t you apply for recheck?

‘It would be useless and just wastage of money, thought of joining as a NFE instructor in my village and moreover my mom is very old, she needs an attention too’

I know dude your mom is too old, but I think it would better you continue your studies. Dude you got lots of relatives to look after your mom.    

‘Umm yap its true brother, but feeling ashamed of brothers and sisters they have been helping me a lot. By the way you study well and give my regards to Pembalas and all!’

Ok then brother, I will miss you and I will let all group friends know about you. Bye will see you dude.

I hung up call and joined family for breakfast.

“This is Mr. Zangpo. Though it is unfortunate for him that he couldn’t continue for his higher studies but we are lucky to have him in our family as NFE instructor and he will be teaching music and coaching games and sports too. So once again let’s all of us cordially welcome Zangpo to our school and wish him a happy stay with us.” Principal introduced him to students and teachers in morning assembly the day he joined.

He used to call me, and I still remember asking him for recharge voucher most of the times. It was sometimes in December; I met him and visited his school. His small hamlet school was full of harmony and peace.

2009! It was a New Year, new students and new teachers. Euchung Lhamo was one of them. She was a New English teacher.

Autumn picked up! Season for farmers to harvest their cash crops and it was season of love for Zangpola. Where he was madly and deeply in love with Euchung (he never told us when he was in relationship). “Sweetheart, I’ll C U in library B4 Assembly. Be on time baby” every morning Euchung used to text Zangpola. They meet in library, talk awhile hug and kiss for starting a day. Euchung was one who has added tremendous elixir on Zangpolas life. She gave him wings of hope, inspire to soar high. He was completely engulfed in her love; he could just give her enormous feelings of his love.

It was pouring down heavily, nailing drops on Zangpolas CGI rooftop. Summer (Midterm break of academic year 2010 ) again, he tried to call Euchung but network denied him. After awhile he discovered phone was switched off. Heavily loaded heart has beaten faster than a normal rate.

Next day, early morning he waited for text. There was neither a message nor Euchung Lhamos sign of return from break. The intense thud inside and day became gloomy.

“He is my husband Zangpo” said Euchung. Hi and hello, murmured. It was a worst introduction he ever did. He couldn’t do anything. He was just a class X pass out simple boy, who is compare less to son of contractor and English madam.

There after he started drinking and smoking. His punctuality and honesty has faded. Interest of teaching lost and finally he got fired.

Standardization of equality defines here. Scale of false unity he assumed. His dreams got shattered. Presuming initial formulae of goodness answers the worst. Best thing is you give your best and expect the worst.

Zangpola is loyal friend and simple legendary man I will ever meet. He is currently a final year student of Sherubtse college undergoing bachelors in BA English dzongkha.

When Life Answer

Things got changed, but not seen. Way of living got advanced, but not lived. People come and go in life playing and presenting individual roles. Some are awesome and make us feel wonderful while some aren’t, yet more to meet. Life is sad, because things aren’t moving on the track but to the ones who have everything they desire, life’s fantastic.

Life is like playing archery, many aims to hit the bulls eyes, unlike all only few succeed, some give up, some blame the field range and some keep on trying. In life, we have many things to get done; in spite of trying hard and working cautiously things are still left undone. To define easiness, it’s sometimes where we have to initiate from intricacies. Tune with delicacies; freeze with complexities and deriving the life’s equation becomes valueless. However, to simulate the frequency of rhythm and to sing songs of life enriches the meaning of being in the world.

In-fact, they say life ain’t fair, yes it is and one must agree. Life is cool until you face the torrential phase, it is a heavenly place until you entered the hell gate and it’s beautiful when you ignore to see ugliness but life, it comes in package.

He sometimes wonders why it is like that.

He opens his diary every evening. His pen genuinely dances, to write her. He felt it, felt the pressure of pain when it digs. He took it as the pleasure. He wrote notes dedicating to her, pushing much on, making it shall happen someday. He knew story won’t be like what he thought, but his hopes lived. He sailed ahead with no destination and moved with no proper route. Time, made his thoughts wrap in a strong sanguine.

In spite of being insipid wine to her lips, she ignored to hurt him. Unlike him, she was little conservative and cognitive. She lived in her minutes, but he lived in her seconds. She employed her smile under his feelings. He lived in those memories.

The worst thing of life is when you are sure and it suddenly turns out to be uncertain. It just needs a strike, to blow off completely. Preparing seems like just building to destroy. You build it so nicely, and you felt so attached with it but when it departs its pains you.

Indeed you fell in love eventually and again you learn it you aren’t to be. Philophobia!!!

The Other Side

Winter was on mist hanging. It was cloudy and gloomy day. We were returning from Phuntsholing to Thimphu with his new SUV, BMW X5. He gently manages to press on the music player button to play his favorite list, ‘nge thimphu-by misty terrace’ was the first song. I was struggling to pull cork of the wine bottle ‘la Crema’. Balancing force and tension with bumps on road, I finally opened. Cheers to your new car boss, I raised my glass to kiss his.

It was 7:15 PM when we reach his place. Both of us gathered near heater with bottles of foster. And he went into kitchen to get glasses for us.

His phone beeped, displaying ‘Yangsel- text message’. Oye! Sangay some one call Yangsel messaged you. As soon as I called him. He rushed from a kitchen with wai wai and maggi not with glasses. He unlocks his phone, and focuses his eye lens blinking very curious.

“Common dude, its party time lets enjoy” he said to me. He went outside and brought some more foster, it made me little curious about the message. We again cheered for another round of fosters with pigs intestine. This time both of our face displayed maroon, like a ripen pumpkins. It sensed something is wrong with him, actually he never drinks that much! It made me ask him what the problem is.

“Last year summer gila, I was returning from my tour, from investigation case at Trashi Gang. Early morning, it was raining and I was first one to board the bus. Slowly, all gathered and got settled with respective seats. But my seat mate, showed no sign. Driver horned angrily, and it made to asked him to wait a little on-behalf of my seat partner. Few minutes later, a girl banged on the door! She was completely drenched in rain. Driver asked her, ‘ausa nan gila mo seat number 11 ga’ nope she replied. My sister is going so I came to drop her, in instance her sister came and she sat near me and waves her hands to her sister. Eventually we marched to Thimphu.

At first it made me irritate and angry, but she was a complete stranger to me and can’t say anything to her. I too wanted to tell her that I asked driver to wait for her. She was gorgeous dude, amazing morab, her smile is breathtakingly awesome and her scent still lingers within my nostrils. Till Chazam, both of us were buried silent. Suddenly she broke silent, ‘I was late right?’ I answer, yap few minutes late. I could see her, the feeling of sorry of being disobedient. That made her cute and more beautiful. I offer her candy and she exchanged with ‘thank you, Atta!’

Another round of silence, we reached Mongar. I thought it’s my turn to break silence, I offer her window seat if she is feeling not well. She said, ‘I am ok here’. And it made me little uneasy. I asked her details of going to Thimphu and finally learned that she is a final year student of Royal Thimphu College and her name as Yangsel.

I was in love with her, she knew I am employed and made her to accept my proposal. (Using slang) I thought she is in love with me, she isn’t. Dude these days girls just need money, and when their purse if filled they change their SIM-cards. Be careful Yenten!”

Shit! Yangsel, the one messaged him right now, how could she do that to him. I know my friend; he is deeply and madly in love with her. I told him to call and ask what the problem was. He denied, and showed me message.

‘Sangay! Sorry to tell you. I think you are not the one for me, I tried to keep hold on but it’s very difficult. I know it will hurt you, but I must tell you right now. I need to go away from this garden, some garden deserves better so I need say good bye!! Sorry once again’

The modern era, modern girls and advanced style of letter writings!!!

Every Evening

All day after, wave her orbs to west,

Summoning, lovely crescent moon to shine,

With flowery drizzle and crystal drops,

Shutting the cover of universe,

Saying goodbye, closing her eyes,

Kissing horizon, so tenderly to say I enjoyed today.

Flapping sounds, thundering rush and eloping tunes,

She comes every evening to meet me,

We talk, dance, drink, eat and even we kiss sometimes,

I do help her to paint her wings, those wings already adorn beautifully,

And help me to harvest my day.

With wishes and prayers, we close our eyes,

Tomorrow! In early dawn she is lost and no remnants are left,

Rather her fragrance makes me felt her absence my pain,

I bid goodbyes, with another hope to see her again,

See her again, every evening.

Dear Beautiful Butterfly!

Your beautiful wings, stole my heart and left nothing inside me,

I build love in your memory, and in your absence.

But can’t tell you when you are with me!!!

Dear Beautiful Butterfly! I always paint love on your wings

Hope you find those someday!

Dear Beautiful Butterfly!!

Great Indian Plains to Mountains – Part II

Wai boss! Boss waii..!! wusho waii, wusho. Lunch rekpey waii! My friend woke me up. I hate people disturbing, especially when I am in a deep slumber, but we were just a half friend and that is the best part of being half if not I would have punched him already. We had our lunch together and resumed our journey.

Engine roar again, passenger mates were humming and my friends were laughing and finally we reached Phuntsholing. It took an hour to locate an inn, since many heads got different kind of choice and taste. We eventually decided to stay in Hotel Moonlit, where today it’s known as Puensum Hotel.

Phuntsoling was new to most of us especially my friends from east, since we had spent almost our entire lives in the midst of pine woods. While me and my friends were enthusiastically shopping and looking forward to our first college days, I was a little worried regarding the train we were to board the next day. I had never travelled by train before. In fact not to blame, I was young and journey away from home was little too risky for me. Without any information, and just relying on my guts I prepared for battle next day. 

On the early morning of 8^th September, 2010 we geared up to march our long journey to an unknown place. Yet destiny was set. Ahlipur Duar Junction was the station. Are bhai kedar janey ka?plaa..t fom lamber pata haii? Might be a question he asked me, he was an old man at the station. I was speechless, since I had no answer to what he asked as I didn’t know or understand Hindi very well. He passed and we paused with questioning eyes. Within an hour the train whistled loudly into the station, alarming us. Although we didn’t have any information we hurriedly boarded the train since we had only a few minutes to do so. 

Inside, the train’s condition was worse than ridding a farm tractor in my village. It was like people rushing in vegetable vendors, and the seats were already occupied too. Six of us stood with individual suitcases on the doorway, as if waiting for individuals turn like in archery match. After a while, we could settle ourselves but you know in India everything can happen in second. TT, black suit man, looking as if he is the king of the world raising his head very straight up came by asking tickets. We thought we had tickets since we paid hefty sum for six of us, but ticketing procedure in India is one thing I hate the most. Our tickets were in waiting list that means we can’t have seats, and have to bear penalty. Indians just need to get a chance, and then they smash things very badly. The TT asked us for one thousand rupees, and since we were scared we gave him the money without any question to rescue ourselves. When we finally reached our destination,  the auto waala tricked us by taking 500 rupees to reach us to our college, which otherwise actually cost us only Rs. 200. My welcoming note in India wasn’t that fun, but we all should experience this kind at least once, haha!

We were late by a month I think. We completed all admission process on the same day we reached our college and of course seniors were there too who helped us to complete all proceedings. It was hot late summer time, temperature was at average but humidity was very high. There was no electricity too, and the very first night itself, far away from Bhutan, I had my very first lesson on struggle for survival.  

Every morning I have a dream of doing something great, but every evening I used go back with regrets. Four years from 2010 to 2014, I was quite fortunate to pass without any big hindrance. College days weren’t so cool, unlike the colleges in Bhutan I have heard about. But facilities and exposure was enough that I got an opportunity to learn and explore. It takes couple of days to fix an Ethernet cable port in Bhutan, but in India you need to just give them some time. Indians are very cool and they taught me to control my patience too. To withdraw 200 bucks from ATM, we have to wait standing for couple of hours in long queue. Of course I have learnt a lot from India, and I am grateful to my friends and people of India.

It was the autumn of 2014 when we attended the National Graduates Orientation Programme. The number of graduate mates there overwhelmed me and got me thinking hard. When RCSC declared the result I had passed but I wasn’t selected and it gave me lot of pressure. However, I was lucky to get selected in MHPA, Trongsa.

Great Indian Plains to Mountains – Part I

It wasn’t my ambition and plan too. In my country youths has to carry beautiful set of academic transcripts or else they land up in nowhere. The story attacked my seniors and ultimately the decision was on their hands. So they pushed me and I land-up pursuing engineering. My friends told me I am placed somewhere in India, I am neither happy nor sad, was just feeling uneasy of moving ahead.

National Institute of Technology, ALLAHABAD! Was a college I am going to attend, my parents told me “NITs are high graded college in India. You will be sitting with friends scoring more than 90s”. It didn’t either inspire me or I wasn’t worried about it a bit too. My mindset was just trying to battle with notion that, my career is going to be different then what I wanted to be, area of interest will have to change though it isn’t late and to start a new, but probably it will take time to consume into it. The style of imagining things, worshiping and in fact life! is obviously going to be in another zone other then I use to be comfortable. This heavy list started igniting and combustion pledge to ruin all.

With jumbled motivation they sowed in me and confused inspiration, it let me think a little sometimes. Days folded to weeks, weeks turn to months and it was time for me to say good bye Bhutan.

It was early morning sometimes in autumn; Thimphu was very busy as always. Birds were singing very happy helping to harvest few endangered paddy field in Capital city. Dogs were busy dancing with sanitary pads and reading all letters from pits. Students were busy with books walking so abnormally fast and for a second, it took me all way back when I used to be in high school.

I was reading in class 12 science ‘A’, somewhat extreme east of nation, at Khaling. I used to snore sitting last bench most of the time in dzongkha classes and I got beautiful wang (blessing) from my teacher too. We used to turn pages and finish a text within an hour when exams are on doorsteps and expression used to change and today I saw students wearing that expression so humble and innocent.

Lungtenzampa, an old Bhutanese tradition bridge still strongly hang on two banks. People believe in receiving blessings are lucky sign on long venture, and I was fortunate to be pass by the blessed bridge and blessings would be enormous. I walked blindly and step down from other end of bridge to reach bus parking.

Bus terminal, one of the busiest spot, and you will witness people wearing different kind of look. Some are happy may be they are meeting their love ones, some are sad may be there dear ones are going away from them. By the way who will be happy of me and sad of me, I got no one to drop me. Within a light of my thought my new friends came, laughing lively they got their parents with them to wave for them, but my parents are far away.

We shook our hands, talked and cracked few high school jokes. Most of them are from west and only few of us from east, I remained silent but super raced within. Of course I was feeling sad by then, and missing my parents and home badly. I made myself comfortable at last seat of the coaster and we headed to Phuntsoling. Music has always been my companion and I played whisky lullaby by braid paisley for Thimphu. 

NIT, Allahabad

When the birds chirp early dawn in the spring, the fallen leaves rustles making the beautiful combination of waves of sound and the sun rays passes through the torn piece of my window curtains, vibration of morning alarm let me stipulate the nerves and make my way to washroom. With hopes and dream I walk down the old road which always conducts heat to my foot and that’s the reason I don’t like summer. As it passes things become natural and seasons draw automatically.

In summer making comfortable on the three legged chair and uneven table beneath the old wrecked fan rotating making sound like the old frog crying whole night have moved four years. Not knowing what basic engineer needs to do and find. Lots of formulae, definition, rules, theory, philosophies and all forgets when semester turns the next page and just being focused what should I write in the examination for the score. When life ask for the main theme I will remember the time when sun touches the horizon and friends calling for soccer we play always on the lawn ground, stony field and concrete pitch where we always find ball kiss legs.

I loved walking back to hostel after long day tour around the world under imagination with all great scientist theories and proposal they made for developing this globe. Sometimes I remember high school days back in my country, life in college in different nation seems under the hasty and dusty land.

12 science ‘A’, Jigme sherubling high secondary school was parent school when I used to be stupid, careless and not too deterministic I want to talk to him and tell him how life is and how hard it is, all left with is just this old man all with hollow mind and that is what I have seen and witnessed with this life till now.

Man go to bed with the dreams and he dint like when he wake up with reality.I go to bed with you and wake up with me!

Her Warm Hands

Some decades ago, some where in the midst of oak land and pine covered hill, locate my small hamlet called Tsebar-Shinangri.

Open my eyes; saw her with loaded smile and beautiful gesture, she was the first woman to welcome me on the earth. helped me to win this war, taught me to fight this battle and showed me a route to victory chambers. she always used to tell me that "grass isn't greener at other side of bank, its always green where you water it". I learned to wake up early, and put things in order and make world beautiful because of just her. She trained me how to laugh when things are painful, showed me how to get up when i used to fall down frequently. Thus she prepared me for this life what we call it as journey of battle to death.

  

Yesterday she called me and told me my dear! hope everything is going good and fixed on the track that should go and follow, i said yes, all is set and perfect till now. though she got lots of file piled got undone, she finds her time to manipulate my readings of day and life. 

These series of presentation of journey, that have been sailing from a long way, yet i got some miles to go before i go to bed. Yes she was right, she always tell me not to play with stones and gravels, so learned playing with hard things make people hurt too much.

she always find me very smart and talented, she always praise me telling i am better than everyone, saying i am the best in the world. help me to celebrate my victory and make me always happy. years passed time rushed and things got apart and we got separate miles away.

She used to tell me always my dear son, i know everything, though we are far away! mom is always with you inside your heart every time warn me to take care of his son. Thank you mom, love you so much!